Day 17: Traveling, heading towards ketosis and my 34th birthday week

I’m not sure if all these of those things can happen all in the same week or not! haha

I am out of town with my kids for 6 days, attempting to get back into ketosis and also wanting to splurge a little and celebrate my 34th birthday while I’m here, which is next Saturday.

How do I make all three of these things work? I have no idea!!

I guess I have to prioritize a few things… let you know how this all pans out!

Question: I’m curious, what would you prioritize if you were me? 

In the meantime, my kids are as good as gold but traveling as a single mom without my husband’s awesome help can be tiring at times, so off to bed tonight for me! I need all the sleep I can get!

Day 16: Am I dreaming?

I’ve been thinking so much today about dreaming, and how important it is to our vitality.

I believe God has placed dreams in each of our hearts, things He has created us to do, to be in our lifetime.

I found myself in tears tonight, telling a few friends close to me about one of my biggest dreams, something I would love to accomplish as a way to help others, if it’s the last thing I do before I die. It moved me that deeply.

It reminded me how important it is not to waste our time, because life is too short and there is much to accomplish!

Some of the biggest time wasters I can think of off the top of my head:  Wanting to do something that others see as relevant and important, being too afraid to take the steps, feeling like it’s too hard to get from here to there, believing you don’t have what it takes to get the job done. Wow, so many excuses why we shouldn’t pursue the dreams in our hearts, but I don’t think we will find true passion and fulfillment in our lives unless we do what we’ve been called to do.

I encourage each of you, as well as myself, to not let anything or anyone hold you back! Pay attention to what stirs up passion in your heart and ask God to show you what he has created you for, and then begin to take steps in that direction!

You will never regret dreaming but you will regret letting dreams and passions go to waste. Making our dreams come to pass requires a lot of hard work but with the passion and the power of God in our lives to help carry us through—it is truly possible!!

Let’s each determine to begin to be diligent, intential and aware of what is in our heart and follow our God-given dreams!

Day 15:Road-trippin’ keto style…..

is definitely no small task but I think I did pretty well, all things considered. I’m exhausted from traveling all day.

So, I bet I hit closer to 20-25 grams of carbs, but tomorrow is a new day to aim for 15 grams again. I did a good job though I think, making sure I add in lots of veggies, at the encouragement of my doctor. One thing is for sure, I’m not going to quit anytime soon. 🙂

It is pretty tough though trying to find balance within such a rigid diet, but I know each day will get easier and easier, hopefully. I would love to know any secrets any of you keto friends have that you could share with me!

Thanks so much to all of you who are following my blog and keeping up with me. It means a lot! I hope you’ll leave a comment, say hi and introduce yourself!

Day 14: Ketosis no more?

What in the world?! Ahh what a  moment this afternoon at my doctor’s office when I discovered I’m not in ketosis. I had a feeling but wasn’t sure. I could have cried.

He thinks maybe among a couple of other thoughts, that I possibly need to eat even less carbs, than originally thought. So now I’m going to aim for 15 grams of carbs per day.

In my upset and frustrated state, I told him if I don’t do anything else, I will get back in ketosis by the time I meet with him next week.

I tell ya what; it is not easy and quite humbling to have someone examine and analyze your weight and inches, your diet, your amount of exercise etc. I felt pretty down when I left the office, and had to do a lot of self-talk because I felt like I had failed…I know, there’s that word again. I’m glad I’m learning to catch it before it sticks in my heart and turns into a belief. 😁

I’m grateful though that at least my frustrations with so many things surrounding the situation translates into determination for me; after all, alot of my livelihood basically depends on this, especially the health of my brain.

Thanks for the prayers and support. Today was hard on me. I will keep pressing on though. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Day 13: Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride

I had a situation happen today where I really messed up and dropped the ball on something I was supposed to do. There were about 8-10 people that were counting on me and it left me feeling so disappointed in myself when I realized what I had done, that I had let everyone down.

It pretty much derailed the rest of my day today as I had to spend this afternoon and into this evening doing what needed to be done and taking care of things, instead of all the other things that I had planned.

As I spent the afternoon taking care of these particular things, I began to think of what could come from this whole scenario, because I believe God speaks to us even in the smallest of situations in life. So I began pondering and thinking what he might be speaking to my heart in this situation.

I began to realize how quickly I can go down the wrong road in situations like this when I have disappointed myself and others, where I go into self-shaming and feeling so down on myself. I felt almost this warning to my heart, I guess you could call it, that today was to be different because today was a new day, where I needed to make a conscious choice that I was not going to beat myself up for places where I struggle and the times that I make mistakes.

It saddens me that this is so widely accepted in our society, where we somehow make it ok to shame ourselves and beat ourselves up over failures, which I have never yet seen produce growth and health in anyone’s life. So what does it do? Does it make me want to be a better person? Does it make me want to try again? Does it lift my head or cause it to hang low?

I believe a better solution that I’ve known in my head for a long time but now I’m working on allowing it to move into my heart, is to take responsibility for my actions, apologize and make things right in whatever way the situation needs, and then move on with my life, with my head still held high!

I believe I came to a major crossroads today, and it was clearer than I’ve ever felt it….was I going to grow up and mature in this area or would I make the choice that continue to walk this road I’ve walked so many times, where I wallow in self-shame and condemnation over poor decisions I’ve made?

The road to self-shaming is exactly where our adversary would love for us to head down, but we are called to much more than this. We are called to walk a higher road because we are each beloved, dearly loved and chosen, children of God (if we have made the choice to be a child of God), among many other beautiful descriptions. If we truly believe this, all the way down to the core of who we are, then our actions will reflect these beliefs.

I hope more than anything that you each know how deeply cherished you are, that NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ Jesus, that He chose you before the foundations of the world. I hope truly knowing and believing this will cause us to begin to hold our heads high, even through the many failures and mistakes we may make in our lives- because we know and believe we are loved and accepted–NO MATTER WHAT. 

In the end, it was a such a good feeling to end the day today having made amends for my mistakes and still feeling victorious in a sense, that nothing could get me down and for once, not feeling like a total failure for my mistake but feeling I believe, a sense of how God feels about me–and how he feels about you too. I felt loved. I felt accepted. I felt no condemnation. What a good feeling. What a better way to live.

Day 12: Are you still walking?

I asked someone that question this evening…….

 

and then it struck me how I never would have dreamed of asking those types of questions 10 years ago before I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  This was back in the days when being able to walk was a way of life, not a luxury, as I see it now. But I found myself inquiring of this person that very thing, when they told me they also had MS.

I never dreamed at 34 years old, I would be in this place….where walking and being able to move all FOUR limbs as well as both of my eyes coordinating together, having most of the feeling in my hands, things like that, would be something to even think about. The truth is, if I have a good workout (like this evening) I come home with tingly/numb legs and a partially-numb right hand all over again. It’s just a way of life for me now; one that I still pray will recover over time.

What a wild ride it has been, and one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

I can hardly even remember who I was before all of this started in 2006 when I began losing my eyesight in my left eye, to the point of barely being able to see out of it at all,  along with losing depth perception where I felt like the floor was going to drop out in front of me. Pretty scary. It took me quite a few years to fully regain full vision and depth perception, but I’m grateful I did at all–it would not be a surprise to anyone if I didn’t. I have gone on to have 4 more episodes since that point, which is a good amount to have, according to the medical world. But I’ll share about those episodes in another post, another time…..

As I reflected on my life so far this evening, I’m sure I was fun to be around and to talk to, but going through these experiences over the last 10 years have really shaped who I am, down to the core.

There is nothing like walking through the valley of the shadow of death to really cause any of us to take a good hard look at life, at God, ourselves and have to consider what we really believe.

I am so grateful I’ve come out a better person on the other side–and the journey isn’t over yet. Somedays, I hate that. I wish sometimes that this was like cancer; that I had a chance of moving past it, of “beating it”. But the truth is, aside from a true miracle from God, this is a life-long journey. It has taught me so much surrender and learning to trust God even when my life is hard and it doesn’t make sense. I can trust He is with me every step of the way, and He always has my best in mind! Dealing with this neurological auto-immune disease is a cross to bear, but I’m thankful that my load can be easy and my burden light, when I learn to let God carry it for me. I don’t know about you all but I need all the help I can get!

I pray I continue to heal and recover, but I hope I never forget and take for granted my physical freedom-my ability to see, to taste, to be able to touch and feel things, to walk anywhere that I feel like. feeling exactly where my feet are going to land and knowing that I won’t fall. If any of you ever catch me running, dancing, skipping, acting child-like, you know why–I haven’t always been able to and so now, I do it just because I can!

My life is forever marked by what I have walked through so far and I pray it leaves me in a better place than where the journey began. I believe it has and it will continue to. xo

Day 11: failures vs successes

Today I have been thinking about how quick I am to beat myself over  not being as close to perfection as I would like to be, instead of celebrating victories-no matter how small!

After 11 days on this new diet, I have no idea why but I have been super hungry and craving carbs since yesterday. Sigh! I don’t feel like I’m in “the zone” but not sure why. Hopefully things correct themselves on their own? Despite my disapointment because of this, I am proud that I only ate 40 grams of carbs today and tried instead of fill up on lots of fats. It could have been a lot worse. I believe I got approx 110 grams of fat, and approx 40 of protein. I hope tomorrow is easier!

curious if anyone else has run into this and if anyone knows what  it means. I’m afraid it means I’m not in ketosis, although I certainly hope not!

 

Day 10: Time flies when you’re counting carbs! ;)

Well, somehow I went over on my carbs today as shown in the pie chart above, and wound up with about 60 grams total, twice the amount I should have. BOO!  Feeling super bummed but trying to give myself grace as well since I’m new at all this and this the most I’ve been over, in over a week! It’s unbelievable how fast it adds up and how easy it is to get there if I’m not careful!

Tomorrow is a new day though….at least I hit everything else pretty well!

Day 9: No more lies

I can’t even begin to properly express how excited I get reading articles like this: https://docmuscles.com/2016/01/06/the-ketogenic-diet-multiple-sclerosis/

I have felt so hopeless at times over the years in dealing with Multiple Sclerosis, that I could almost weep when I now begin daydreaming and daring to believe that I CAN see healing and recovery in my body, and possibly not have to watch my health slowly deteriorate over the years, as at times I have feared possible.

For the last 9 years, as I’ve dealt with the awfulness of this neurological auto-immune disease and all the setbacks and disabilities I have endured, I am now realizing I have unknowingly tucked away dreams and desires in a corner of my heart, believing I was doomed to just battling out this disease in a reactive position, without moving ahead in life. I have even believed the lie that I’ve missed the boat, that it’s too late to dream (I know, I know–I’m only almost 34 in a couple of weeks, but still….), too late to accomplish much, that I’m not going to have much to even offer anyone. Wow, it all sounds so awful to put it on paper, so to speak.

Lately though, since working with this new functional doctor and beginning the new ketogenic diet, I feel this lie slowly dissolving in my heart and mind. I’m beginning to dream again, to believe that I have God-given gifts and talents that I will be able to use, that I CAN and WILL be a world changer!

Its hard to describe how this feels, besides to say, incredibly empowering. I feel more alive than I ever have in my entire life, and I feel as if I want to take on the world! 🙂

I now see I was told a LIE, and I believed it! It was a lie to try to hold me back from my potential, to keep me from dreaming of everything I can accomplish in my lifetime, with God’s help. It was meant to make me feel stuck in my circumstances, and like damaged goods, not good for much.

The truth is: I have been created with purpose and destiny. I have been called. I have been chosen. God is redeeming my circumstances and giving me beauty for the ashes of my life.

I pray these words would speak to anyone of you who also have struggled with lies like I have. This is the truth that God speaks to us, we don’t have to believe the lies any longer!

If anyone of you need someone to talk to or pray with you, please contact me and I will pray for you and help put you in touch with the right resources of people who can speak truth to you.

Life is too short to settle for believing lies!