Day 22: Happy Fathers day and Husband caregiver day

Tears filled my eyes a few days ago when I saw there really is a national Husband caregiver day, to go along with the beloved Father’s day that we all know.

I  have a husband who knows far too well, both of these roles.

Neither of us knew when we got married at 19 & 25 years old, the things we would soon walk through. That he would have to care for me at times when I would struggle to care for myself. That he would have to somehow find a way to manage our kids, our household and my care all while trying to have a career. But as I have gotten diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis almost 10 years ago, that is exactly what he has done.

That takes so much courage, strength and fortitude. And somehow he’s doing it, all by the grace of God.

There are days I haven’t been sure how bad things will get  with my health and I have wondered the extent of the care he would have to provide for me, and yet he doesn’t complain or blink an eye at the work it takes.

He has grown so much in patience and kindness over the years as he has sat with me while I cry, or I’m so afraid, or I simply just can’t move.

He has quickly stepped up to the plate in loving on our kids and providing the stability they need when clearly, sickness doesn’t always provide that.

He has also helped to keep our home beautiful when everything else seems like it’s falling apart, and when I’m unable to contribute.

You all see an awesome friend, a man of God, a hard worker—and I get to see that and even so much more.

He is truly the rock of our home, and I am so grateful for all he has done for our family to get us through the last 14 years of marriage and kids.

And so I dedicate this blog post to him today, as a tribute and public recognition of the incredible man that he is. I am so thankful and honored to be his wife and to be raising our beautiful kids together while we walk this journey. As painful at times as it is, there is also so much beauty to be found in the midst of it.

Happy Fathers day and Husband Caregiver day! You are more than I could have even prayed for! I love you!

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Day 21:Keto on….the doctor is in!

imageWell, my doctor (Dr. Hutton)  joined in and got on board with the ketogenic diet yesterday, and apparently that’s all I needed to mentally kick it into high gear.

I have been struggling LIKE CRAZY. Talk about walking around feeling like a total failure at the whole thing, but not for lack of trying, that’s for sure! It has been rough, and very humbling for me.

So when I heard he was starting and was planning to be into ketosis in about 24 hours, that was just the motivation I needed to charge ahead. There’s no way I was not going to let him beat me there! 😉 I’m glad he doesn’t follow me on social media or I would have to confess all this to him, although I did tell him he is now my competition. haha

I realized a very important thing today, and I have to give my amazing husband credit for this….he said I should aim for 0 grams of carbs so I could hit around 15 grams of carbs or less. And guess what? It worked! I feel so much more successful after today and hope to have an amazing day hitting my macros tomorrow as well. I think my biggest challenge has been finding the right things to eat. It has been such a big learning curve for me!

Maybe this is pathetic but I was almost in tears this evening when I saw my chart and how I KILLED my macros today. I hit everything pretty close to dead-on to my goals! (My goals being 100 grams of fat, 50 grams of protein, less than 20 grams of carbs)

In addition to all of that, It was a very emotionally challenging day for me as I’ve been with some stuff in my right leg that has had me about scared out of my mind that I am going into a relapse, so I’m trying to get the pain and discomfort under control.

I have more to say about all of that in another post but I tell ya what, it takes up a lot of head space fighting fear, which is what makes today’s victory even more amazing. Today was a reminder to me of why I do what I do. Why I even work so hard to do this diet for my brain. I need it. I hate fear. I hate how it wants to run my life, and I refuse to let it. I truly cannot afford to let it have any place in my heart!

Anyway, thank-you God for your grace and for the small but important victory today. I needed it.

Cheers to all of you who are working so hard, and are kicking butt! I know it is not easy!

 

Keto on.

 

Day 20: What is defining you?

Ok first– wow, sorry I went MIA for a bit there!

Life has been a little crazy, a little hard, a little painful and also just busy in a good way for the last week so I had to make the decision to set aside blogging until things slowed down from my trip, my birthday festivities and dealing with some personal painful situations I have been walking through.

 

But….I’m back now!  🙂

I had a situation this afternoon where I was at the pool with my kids in the HOT Tennessee  sun. After about an hour, I felt myself overheating and had to rush the kids home pretty quickly so I could get out of it as quickly as possible.

I felt my left eye (the one that lost most of the eyesight temporarily back in 2006 due to an MS episode) get a little blurry and spotty and then I really knew I had overdone it!

I was disappointed because a friend of mine had invited me to attend a exercise weight class with her tonight, and I was REALLY looking forward to it!

As I reluctantly texted her and told her I couldn’t make it due to apparently too much heat and sun, I felt the old familiar sting of frustration hit me as I remembered what I deal with and how hard it is sometimes to feel held back from what I think is no big deal for everyone else, and how nice it must be to have their body cooperate with them a little more than mine does. (maybe not always true, but that’s how I was feeling at the time ;))

As quickly as I felt the first thoughts and emotion hit me, than just as quickly I felt something rise up within me reminding me that I get to choose what defines me! I can choose to be defined by my limitations or I can choose to be defined by who God says I am! 

My limitations tell me things: like I am weak, I can’t keep up with everyone else, I will always be held back by my illness, I can’t do the things I want to do, etc etc.

But God tells me: I am strong, I am capable, I am victorious, I can do all the things He has called me to do because of his strength, nothing is impossible for me as long as He is involved.

Every day in the smallest of situations, in the briefest of thoughts, we are constantly making choices in our minds, the place where our the biggest battlefield lies. The choice we are always confronted with is: What are we going to choose to believe?

Our limitations tell us lies but God always speaks the truth to our hearts.

We cannot afford to forget that we have an enemy of our soul who is fighting to keep us held down, to keep us from believing that we are truly victorious; but our God is on the other side declaring over us that He loves us, He has a plan for our lives, He is for us and NOT against us.

I don’t know about you but I REFUSE to be defined by my limitations! I am going to make the choice to line my heart and my thoughts up with what God says about me! The enemy only seeks to drag us down, but God has such an amazing way of lifting us up and encouraging us, doesn’t He?

So my question for you today is: What is defining you? What voice are you listening to? Are you allowing yourself to be limited or empowered with the choices you are making?

The challenge is: Pay attention to your thoughts. Pay attention to what you are choosing to believe about yourself and your situations. Make adjustments if needed. Ask God to help you! He will empower you and give you the strength and grace you need to believe His truth.

Day 19: pork rinds, anyone?

..the things I get excited about these days–it makes me laugh!

It is 11:45pm and I just tested my ketones using the strips. I was so excited to discover I am in moderate ketosis! Woohoo!!

I have worked so hard to be diligent  with this ketogenic diet in the last week; even in the midst of my 6-day trip. Not easy! So I am proud of my success!

One of my secrets: Pork rinds. I am now known, I’m afraid, as the pork rinds queen! Haha

But seriously, does anyone know of any local places where  I could get some fresh/homemade fried pork rinds? If this is what helps keep me on track, than so be it! 😜

My birthday is tomorrow. I so would love some sugary dessert, but you know what? It’s not worth it! Tomorrow I will search out treats in fattening instead of sugary forms.

Cheers to keto success and bring on the pork rinds please! 🐷

Day 18: And just like that…..

I fell off the blogging wagon for the last couple of days!

I realized in order for my health and sanity, I was unable to keep up with my blog during my travels. It was too much. I was too tired and had too much going on while visiting family.

Hilarious enough though, in my mind, I was writing blog posts and knew exactly what I wanted to say! haha

I can’t wait til things (maybe, maybe not) slow down a bit so it’s a little easier. In the mean time though, I’ll be back tomorrow with a lot more to say!

 

But first…sleep. Good night, sleep tight everyone!