Humbled and deeply loved

light-in-heart

 

 

It is humbling to experience so much kindness and so many prayers from many amazing people in my life who I know are cheering me on lately. You all encourage me greatly!

It is humbling to take a walk tonight and realize that my 34 yr old legs feel more like a 70 year old’s. They seem to have gotten worse over the last week and I only pray that this will not progress and worsen. My feet feel like I’m walking on pin cushions, my legs felt heavy to lift and more difficult to move and I found myself wondering if I need to replace my cane that never showed up with our stuff after we moved last year….

It is humbling to realize how little control we truly have in life. As much as I am fighting this illness in my head right now, I feel changes in my body that I literally cannot get to stop. This is why I am thankful my trust is in God, because I know he in control even though I am clearly not. He knows my future and is writing my story. Just not sure at this point how in the world it’s going to turn out. ha

It is humbling to have to create a plan for a friend to help out when my husband is traveling again next week if needed. I never dreamed I would be in the place where I would be making decisions like this and having to worry about whether or not I would be able to take care of my children and my home alone without help.

It is humbling to know I have so many incredible people in my life who would do anything for me. Having a support system like this helps me not feel so scared or alone. I am truly grateful.

And more than anything, it is humbling to know how deeply I am loved by God. Even when I am afraid, I know He still has a plan and purpose for my life and in the end, everything really will be ok.

In closing, I went old school today and was listening to Crystal Lewis’s Beauty for Ashes song….it was just what my heart needed. The lyrics comforted me greatly as I felt God speaking them to my heart:

 

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

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